Nagzilla is a sexy beast. Wanna see my latest fashion accessory?
Totally hot, am I right? Actually, it is hot. It’s been in the upper 90s the past week, and this big ass boot and sock are totally making me sweat like crazy.
So Nagzilla, you are probably asking, how did you come to wear this Frankenboot from foot to knee? Glad you asked. It actually started when I noticed that my clothes were getting a little tight. Things weren’t quite fitting as well as they should, and going upstairs usually meant standing in the hall for a few seconds to stop panting before I proceeded to my destination. Time to buckle down and get back to regular obesity versus morbid obesity. Since eating is my vice, that’s been a little slower going (although I have gone almost a month now without pop, so BOOYA!) but I have been getting this Laziest Person Alive® ass off the couch to actually do some movement. A couple walks here and there, but I need something that keeps me not bored, so I turned to my old standby. Dancing. And what’s the best way to dance?
By playing Dance Dance Revolution, of course.
Yes, folks. I injured myself playing DDR. And not just a small injury, like a sprained ankle. I mean full on tear in my calf muscle. Which I didn’t realize until nine days later. And it should be noted that one of those days included an all afternoon marathon shopping excursion at the Mall of America for back to school shtuff.
If you haven’t ever played DDR, the concept is fairly simple. You have a pad or mat that has directional arrows on it.
Then you follow the directions on the screen and put your foot on the correct arrow when it reaches the top.
Seems simple, right? It’s not too bad, but I don’t play in Heavy mode. Most of the time I don’t even play in Standard mode. I’m pretty much a down the middle Light player. Which is fine, because you still get a pretty good workout, and really, all I was looking for was something to raise my heart rate and get me sweating for an hour or so. But for some reason, during “Drop the Bomb,” I came down and felt a POP! in my right calf. At first I didn’t think anything of it, because frankly I’d had the same thing happen back in July on the other leg. Same popping feeling, and a couple days of being pretty painful to walk on, and then it got better. I figured same issue.
That was until I was taking my shoe and sock off on Friday night and saw this:
Being a rational person, I waited a couple of days and then posted the pics on facebook, asking my friends if this seemed normal or if I should be worried. After several people said, “Ummm, yeah, maybe you should get that looked at…” I ran in to Urgent Care. The foot and ankle themselves are fine, even though they look like I’ve had a run-on with heavy machinery. Apparently there was some internal bleeding when the muscle tore, and all the blood drained down into my lower extremities. After a while, that pooled blood became the bruising. Super sexy. Came out with this awesome boot, directions to wear it for two weeks, and an appointment to see an orthopaedist next Friday.
Amazingly, it actually hurts much less now that the calf is stabilized. I can still walk in the boot, so I don’t need crutches (THANK GOD!) and because my foot isn’t moving it really doesn’t hurt at all. It gets a little achy after a long day, but when I get home I take the boot off and put my foot up and it feels fine after an hour or so. I’m hoping the ortho doc will be able to tell me why I keep popping, and conversely how to prevent it from popping in the first place. It’s not like I’m doing anything super hardcore. Seriously, I was tapping my foot on a pad. How hard is that?
At first I was a little embarrassed to tell people how I hurt my leg, because as soon as they see Frankenboot the first question is “what happened?!?” and after I say I tore a muscle the second question is usually “how did you do that?!?” But surprisingly, the responses I’ve been getting have been really positive. Responses have ranged from “that’s so rock star!” and “bad ass” to “what the hell is DDR?” Most people have appreciated the skill required to injure yourself this badly playing a video game.
I am going to make the boot sexier, though. I had one friend say I need to bedazzle that shit, but we actually have an even better idea. We’re going to a con again this weekend (so stay tuned for posts with more cosplay excellence!) and one of the voice actors who is making an appearance is this guy
who happens to voice this character from the anime “Soul Eater”
I had the idea to have Andrea draw a bunch of chibi Steins on my boot, and then I’ll have Chuck Huber sign it. In a way, the timing of it is kind of epic, which makes up for the ridiculousness of the injury itself.
So I’ll keep you updated. Stomping around the con this weekend should be fun, and I’ll post pics of the boot with its decorations and autograph. And hopefully an update on the injury once I see a doc. See what happens when I try to do something healthy? Nagzilla just isn’t meant to be a size 12.